Wednesday, January 25, 2006

True Western Truth #71

In the squinty-eyed American Old West, cowboys that couldn't afford a saddle had to make do with a badger hide and twine. It was often difficult for such men to successfully woo women. Not so much because they were poor--strength of character and pistol skill, not accumulated wealth, was the measure of a man in those days--but rather because they tended to reek of badger. And twine stirrups chafe horrible sores to the calves and inner thigh.


At 12:09 AM, Blogger Lightning Bug's Butt said...

I'm surprised to learn this. I figured badger stank would arouse the animal instincts of ladies downwind.

In fact, I might look into developing a wild animal derivative cologne for men. Either badger or wolverine.

At 12:10 AM, Blogger Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Oh, thanks for the compliment on my blog. I hold your praise in the highest esteem.

At 6:55 AM, Blogger Francis Marion Tarwater said...

Gosh, tell me about it.

At 9:11 AM, Blogger Rasmus said...

LBB: Why not use BOTH?!

And Latigo, I may be mistaken but I don't think the average gunslinger had toilet paper back then (or a bidet), so I hardly think badger smell was their biggest concern.

At 12:45 PM, Blogger Berlinbound said...

Nothing shrivels my ardor like a serious chafing ... I feel your pain.

At 4:32 PM, Blogger MJ said...

I'm pretty sure the women who like the smell of dudes in Drakkar Noir would embrace such men as readily.

At 6:48 PM, Blogger Peter said...

Yet another little known fact brought to life in the journals of Latigo Flint, who ever would have known about that chafing?

At 4:53 PM, Blogger hen said...

The medical horseman of medieval Moldavia knew of a similar affliction although it was more groinal in nature. Many a fair and horny maiden wept when their lover said the fateful words "Honey, I have bout of badger saddle tadger"

At 5:14 PM, Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

I wish for once you would tell us bronco busters somethin' we don't already know.

At 6:08 PM, Blogger Proud Mum said...

Sometimes I get the horrible feeling that badgers are closing in all around me. I'm usually wrong, but occasionally right.


At 12:36 AM, Blogger Latigo Flint said...

I like it LBB. But don't overlook the awesome power and sway otters seem to hold over female humans.
(And we go back a ways now, huh? It's all mutual you know.)

I believe I just have Solace Layfield, but probably will again or my name's not Latigo Flint.

Hey Rasmus, you callin' gunslingers smelly?!!! Them's fightin' words. (even if they're true.)

Thanks Berlinbound. Just goes to show, life's been wretched for so much longer than our individual flesh knows.

Hello MJ. And so then which side of Laroche's olfactory line in the sand are you?

Latigo Flint knows all about chafing Peter. Perhaps more than any one man ever should.

And now I weep to the memory of those fair and horny maidens Hen, the ones to whom their lovers said the fateful words: "Honey, I have bout of badger saddle tadger". And bitterly I assure you.

Old Hoss, you’re older than the goddamn cotton gin; how the hell am I possibly supposed to tell you something you don’t already know?!!!

I adore you Proud Mum. That’s just the greatest comment.


Post a Comment

<< Home