A Gun Named Thornbrow Ruinface

In the Squinty-Eyed American West, it wasn't absolutely critical to have a fierce name for your gun--but it certainly didn't hurt.

People think Billy the Kid was fast. And yeah, he was, no doubt about that--but it's something of an ace-in-the-hole if people know your gun is named: Suffer the Hemorrhage.

'Cause I mean, come on, who really wants to face a man who has a pistol named Suffer the Hemorrhage?

Wyatt Earp called his gun: Jimmy Bleeds. It really messed with people's minds. (Especially if they were named Jimmy.) But even if they weren't, they were still too uneasy to draw all that well.
"Who was Jimmy?" That thought swirled in the back of their mind.
"Was he faster than me? Crap, he probably was. And look what happened to him."

But when Doc Holliday named his pistol: Thornbrow Ruinface--the bar was set impossibly high. It's cruel. It's savage. It's subtly, ominously biblical. It's the name of a gun you'd wet yourself to avoid.

...

You don't believe Latigo Flint. You think he made up the fact that Doc Holliday had a gun named Thornbrow Ruinface. That's fine, you're entitled to your opinion. It's the 21st century after all--an age of enlightenment, an age of joy. And you don't have to worry about finding yourself standing alone in a dusty street, opposite a man with a gun named Thornbrow Ruinface.

(Unless of course you come to California and look up Latigo Flint.)


(Grrr!)