Latigo Flint just don't like spiders that's all

Latigo Flint, quickest gun in the world, ain't afraid of any man. Latigo Flint ain't afraid of wolves neither, or snakes or polar bears or rabid badgers... Latigo Flint just don't like spiders is all. Them horrible little hairy critters don't ever fight fair, and Latigo Flint don't want to have nothing to do with them.

[By the way, this post is just for the three teenage girls who laughed at Latigo Flint outside of the Starbucks on the corner of San Fernando and Alameda last Sunday. All the rest of 'yall can move on now.]

You gals hurt Latigo Flint's feelings a mite when 'yall laughed at Latigo Flint. You're lucky you're female, or else you'd have found your ears ringing from the blazing rumble of the powder caps in my authentic replica Colt Peacemakers with hand-tooled elk hide holsters.

To set the record straight: Latigo Flint didn't start screaming when he backed into that there spider web, Latigo Flint just happens to know of a certain high sound frequency that paralyzes spiders.

Anyway, it was bad enough that Latigo Flint spilled his mocha chip frapachino all over the front of his nicest buckskin shirt, he could have done without your cruel and unnecessary reaction. 'Yall should think about trying to be a little more considerate in the future.