Wednesday, June 01, 2005

One Day I Heard a Dwight Yoakam Song

There's something that Latigo Flint does not understand: Dwight Yoakam is a successful singer, songwriter and actor. (The first two despite being all but ignored by C&W radio.) He's a screenwriter and a film score composer. Dwight has directed a major motion picture and produced another.

Contrast that with what some people are famous for.

Dwight Yoakam moves me - it simply defies description. So why then aren't more people at least slightly impressed with him, both as an artist and a productive human being?

My relatively trusty sidekick, Kid Relish, completely agrees. He recently started wearing a Dwight Yoakam Ladies Style Tee, (midriff baring, form fit from the '03 tour) a homemade Sling Blade headband (glued pic of Doyle Hargraves on the front, "tell 'em to send a hearse" printed in magic marker on the back.), and tattooed a guitar on his right hand and a Cadillac on his left.

If people fail to nod or smile in appreciative affirmation when The Kid walks by, he backhands them in the throat and then drops a live scorpion down their shirt.

But I don't agree with The Kid in this particular case. His tactics seem a little self-defeating. How is a badly traumatized and possibly coma-stricken person ever supposed to discover and become enthralled by Dwight Yoakam?

I, on the other hand, have recently been hiding in the trunks of people's cars, and during their morning commute replace all the CDs in their 6-disk changer with Reprise Please Baby, (Dwight's four-disk box set) plus Hillbilly Deluxe and the all-acoustic album.

Oh yeah, and for a couple of weeks there I followed pregnant women around, and when they weren't looking I'd stealthily place my lips near their swollen bellies and softly sing Streets of Bakersfield to their unborn children.

They say I can plea bargain it down to a 6-year sentence, plus probation. But you know what - I did nothing wrong and so they can take their plea and stick it West of Hell.

(Besides I'm peerless, everybody knows that. The case will surely be thrown out when they can't find a single juror, much less 12 plus alternates!)

15 Comments:

At 4:32 AM, Blogger Kid Relish said...

Hey Latty, aren't you a little old to still be a virgin?

 
At 4:35 AM, Blogger Latigo Flint said...

Oh shut up Kid. Everyone knows you're a dirty liar!

 
At 8:54 AM, Blogger Other Brother said...

One of the first Latigo Flint posts I ever read mentioned your respect for Mr. Yoakam. I have been a constant reader ever since. Dwight is probably the most underrated country music star ever.
"She wore red dresses, and told such sweet lies" - Buenos noches from a lonely room

 
At 10:22 AM, Blogger Blog ho said...

Dwight..i have nothing but scorn for him.

 
At 11:19 AM, Blogger tabitha jane said...

you seem to be a big enough fan to even start handing out fliers or something or at least be participating in his fan club to some extent.

 
At 11:43 AM, Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

Latigo Flint, nonpareil, gets away with anything -- and everything. As it should be.

 
At 1:18 PM, Blogger Gil The Carnie said...

"So why then aren't more people at least slightly impressed with him, both as an artist and a productive human being?" Because he's creepy Gunslinger... an' he's got bad teeth.

 
At 4:38 PM, Blogger Lightning Bug's Butt said...

I'm ashamed to admit I can't name a single Dwight Yoakam song. But he's a great actor.

 
At 5:27 PM, Blogger katiedid said...

Aside from Waylon Jennings, I just can't understand country music. But perhaps I'll give Mr. Yoakam another chance, and try out one of his CDs.

 
At 8:57 PM, Blogger slarrow said...

Ah, Latigo, I fear I cannot share your Yoakum appreciation. Some aspects of an upbringing cannot be overcome, and years of my father's complaining about that whiny, nasal voice have left their mark.

That and the peculiar gooseneck bird-head bob Yoakum affected in the Streets of Bakersfield video. At my tender age, it did not seem possible that a human being could move his head like that. Thus began a long suspicion of the Yoakum-Birdman. Even now, I cannot drive through any small town named Bakersfield without worried sidelong glances at the inhabitants who doubtless are hiding their avian tendencies until the time to STRIKE. It's made for some pretty ridiculous detours, I can tell you that.

 
At 9:05 PM, Blogger slarrow said...

Or perhaps it's the name, like the sly pronounciation quirk that makes me misspell the doggone name. (I've heard it YOKE-um, not YOKE-kam. That's what I get for relying on memory instead of looking at the stupid computer screen.) So, Yoakam aside, it's just hard to get that country and western down-home redneck feel from someone named Dwight. Dwights don't sing heart-rending, mourn-your-dog and drink-your-wife-goodbye songs. Dwights sell insurance.

 
At 11:57 PM, Anonymous Iconoclast Zach said...

Thanks for the comment, Latigo. I understand the frame of mind described in your pastoral ruminations exactly, and have fallen prey to it a time or two myself. In regards to Dwight Yoakam, I must admit I've never listened to his music. I'll seek to remedy that in the future.

 
At 7:00 PM, Blogger Cindy-Lou said...

I have an urge to get pregnant just so you'll sing to my unborn child.

 
At 7:53 PM, Blogger Ari said...

Just for you, I'll slap 'im on the Launchcast. ;)

 
At 2:45 AM, Blogger Latigo Flint said...

Amen Other Brother... Mercy, how I would enjoy drinking about 800 beers alongside you in stoic comradery whilst the entirety of the Reprise box set loops endlessly.

And I'm quite certain likewise he for you Ho.

Tabitha, I'm afraid it's gone beyond "fan" and is now approaching a creepy man-crush. I'd take a bullet for Dwight, and/or shoot anyone who besmirches him.

Old Hoss, "nonpareil" is a truly magnificent word. I've already used it, like, 87 times today.

You couldn't be more wrong on both counts Carnie. And there's a very real possibility I will be shooting you in the face with my Colt Peacemakers soon.

Well, 50% ain't bad LBB, and I know of at least several people who may soon regret they weren't born with your impressive diplomatic skills.

Well don't purchase just on my account Katiedid. If someone decides to let Dwight into their hearts it must be done for themselves and no one else.

Slarrow, I contemplated launching a generations-long feud with your entire family the instant I read your comments. I've decided against it though. Would cut too deeply into my Dwight listening time. (Merton Hanks.)

You're most welcome I.Zach. And look, they ended up becoming Wednesday's post. I commented on a random whim... then couldn't get the thought out of my head.

There are worse reasons to knock oneself up Cindy-Lou. I can't think of any right now... Oh wait, I thought of one: "Just to prove to Daddy that you can" is a worse reason to get pregnant. Anyway I'm always in mighty fine voice - if you swell, give a holler.

God bless the Launch Ari. What I want to know is can I take it with me in the car? (Err, what I meant to say was, how can I listen from astride a Palomino?)

 

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