It's Good to Have a Plan

Hey, Latigo Flint does have a plan you know. He does. Some people think Latigo Flint doesn't have any plan at all. Some people think Latigo Flint is lost and drifting like a poodle in a blizzard. Well that's inaccurate. Those people are wrong. Latigo Flint is much more like a Montana cow pony in a blizzard than a poodle. Yeah it's tough to see in a blizzard, even for a cow pony; it forgets its name and icicles dangle from its mane--but lost, never! Montana cow ponies always know where the ranch is, and they shove their way toward it with unwavering gumption.

Sure, sometimes a big, scraggly tree will fall across the cow pony's path and it's so damn cold that the cow pony doesn't notice the pain at first and ends up impaling itself on the pointy branches. And then hawks eat the pony's eyeballs come first thaw. But that's pretty rare, and whatever this is a metaphor for probably won't befall Latigo Flint.

What was I saying? Oh yes, the plan! The plan (and it's a good one!) is to watch Young Guns, Silverado and The Good, The Bad and The Ugly--all in a row... and try to drink myself to death before the third credit scroll.

No, wait... that was last night's plan.

Hmm.

Let me start over please.

The plan (and it's a good one) is to watch The Quick and the Dead, Open Range and Unforgiven--all in a row... and try to drink myself to death before the third credit scroll.

Oh goddamn it... that was Monday's plan come to think of it.

Son of a--

Okay. Fine. New friggin' plan. The plan (and it's an awesome one!!!) is to watch Labyrinth, three times in a row, and masturbate a total of twelve times, six to Jennifer Connelly and six to David Bowie, before the third credit scroll.

Wait... that's an embarrassing plan.

Ah, hell with it, I'll do it anyway. After all, I reckon that's what a Montana cow pony would do.