Sunday, October 09, 2005

A Troubled Journey

We can never really know our destination until we've arrived. This is an ancient truth. Wise people of various cultures have said as much over the years. And I'm repeating it now.

Friends, Latigo Flint embarked upon a journey last Wednesday. It seemed like a good day for it. Latigo Flint did not know where this journey would lead. He set out anyway. (Setting out on journeys with uncertain ends is really quite very sexy.)

But never in wildest thoughts did Latigo Flint ever even remotely imagine that this journey would lead to a circumstance in which Latigo Flint would need to kick a baby dolphin to death.

Kicking a baby dolphin to death tends to scar you pretty good. I'd bet money it's a life-long furrow. It's been two days now since I found myself having to kick a baby dolphin to death and I'm quite certain it shall stay with me always.

When it was over, I turned around and came home. It was all I could think to do. I'd just kicked a baby dolphin to death--savagely toed it until blood gushed from its blowhole. Watched the light flicker and die in its big intelligent eyes. Heard it whisper my name in halves.

You tend to want to sleep in your own bed after something like that. So I came home. In the end, my journey's destination was a stomped-dead baby dolphin.

Or home.

Whichever's deeper.

Tonight I weep. I weep for that baby dolphin and I weep for my troubled soul.

(I don't weep for my boots however--the blood came right out. I feel horrible for saying that though, even if it is true.)


At 5:28 AM, Blogger Amandarama said...

I don't think you should feel too bad. It was a baby dolphin, not a baby seal. And I read somewhere that dolphins are Cthulu's minions. You probably just saved the world.

At 6:59 AM, Blogger Lance Manion said...

You know what? The dolphin probably had it coming. Always swimming around screwing up tuna nets. Somebody needed to teach those bastards a lesson.

At 8:06 AM, Blogger Dave Morris said...

I can only imagine that the porpoise (sorry) for your dolphin killing had something to do with covering up the twisted sexual activities of Kid Relish.

Is sodomizing a blow-hole illegal under California statutes?

At 8:07 AM, Blogger Blog ho said...

even killing the big ones is sad.

At 8:55 AM, Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

"It's okay, officer. I saw the whole thing. It was a case of self-defense against a killer baby dolphin. We get a lot of that around here...."

At 10:52 AM, Blogger Noir Muse said...

Ah...gross. That's something that I never thought I would hear from you – I had to kick a baby dolphin to death…. But there you have it.

At 1:28 PM, Blogger tabitha jane said...

but WHY?!?!?!

At 7:33 PM, Blogger Cindy-Lou said...

I hope you sold the carcass on the black market.

At 10:41 PM, Blogger Latigo Flint said...

Cthulhu is one scary fucker. The fact that it is fabled to live in the depths of the Pacific Ocean only strengthens your theory Amandarama. I agree with you... I did probably just save the world. Huzzah for me and stuff.

You're probably right Lance. But still... it whispered my name in halves right as I delivered the fatal blow. That sort of thing sticks with you.

No Dave, you can fuck anything you want in California... you just can't have any symbol even remotely resembling a cross in old city seals.

Exactly Ho... with a ball pein hammer and a decoy mackerel.

"Oh, well why didn't you say so Old citizen? No further questions."

I'm sorry Muse, I am. But it's been an entire year and my fever won't recede. I'm roping my end and these dreams are not benign.

Why was it essential for me to kick a baby dolphin to death? Is that what you're asking Tabitha Jane? Everyone I tell goes insane. I spare you because I care.

I gave it back to the sea Cindy-Lou. (Wouldn't have fetched more than a buck or two in the state it was in anyway.)

At 12:20 AM, Blogger Lightning Bug's Butt said...

PETA is going to have your gun-slinging ass on an environmentally safe hemp platter.

At 2:16 PM, Blogger tabitha jane said...

a platter made from pottery and non-toxic glaze would be ok too . . .if the hemp one isn't sturdy enough


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