Tuesday, February 07, 2006

We Were Brave, Rob Schneider and I

After that man (who I later learned was film and television actor, Rob Schneider) and I saved those two ladies from a structure fire in the street-side wing of the North Hollywood Home for Seniors, we were very proud. We wiped our sooty brows with the backs of blistered hands and shared a meaningful stare.

"Nice work in there fella." Said the man who I didn't yet know was Rob Schneider.
"Thanks guy." I replied. "You too."

Then a bunch of firemen arrived and ended up taking the credit for our heroism. They told the man I now know had been Rob Schneider, and I, to get back behind the hastily erected barricades for our own safety. And then when the news cameras showed up, they let them through, but made us stay behind.

But the man I would later find out had been Rob Schneider and I didn't care--those two old ladies were going to live. And that's why myself and the stranger by my side who was in fact Rob Schneider though I didn't know it at the time, had braved the deadly flames in the first place.

We shook hands, that man I now know was Rob Schneider and I, and then we parted ways. I went home to shower and put aloe on my burns. When I turned on the tube, The Hot Chick was on and that's when I discovered the truth.


At 12:39 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Okay, that's just dumb.

At 1:40 AM, Blogger greta said...

Dumb? As one who also found The Hot Chick a revelatory experience, I may be forced to go upside anonymous' head with a hessian sack full of week-old cabbages.

At 9:09 AM, Blogger Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Wow. That's the closest I've ever come to liking Rob Schneider.

BTW, I loved your last post about The Kid, which I just read because I foolishly missed it before.

At 10:57 AM, Blogger Berlinbound said...

OK ... I am the designated pop culture slug in the room here ... I don't know either Rob Schneider or The Hot Chick!

At 12:25 PM, Blogger Teaspoon said...

Berlinbound, I think that you are actually the lucky one then.

I am glad that you made it out of the roaring blaze alive LF, any word on how the fire started? Was the man who claimed to be Rob Schneider there before or after you?

At 2:20 PM, Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

Didn't those damn firemen know WHO YOU ARE???!!!!!!

Did you squinty-eye 'em, to no avail?

At 5:06 PM, Blogger Faceless Henchwoman said...

Latigo Flint, you are officially my hero.

At 6:13 PM, Blogger Rob said...

Berlinbound - me neither. But then I'm a Brit through and through.

At 6:53 PM, Blogger Peter said...

Don't know who Rob Sni... er scne...... schnd....... er that Rob guy is.. didn't Jaws ever swim into your waters... eh... oh , that was Roy, who the hell is Rob whatever his name is?

At 3:40 PM, Blogger Amandarama said...

Rob Schneider should now get down on his knees and thank you everyday for making him almost relevant.

At 2:39 AM, Blogger Latigo Flint said...

Shut up Anonymous, I'm the only one who's allowed to call me dumb.

It can be tough to decipher sincerity from typed words Greta, but I choose to believe you there. I'm not even slightly kidding now, I thought The Hot Chick was a damn fine film. It's so easy to hate everything our intellectual peers hate, but occasionally we end up missing out on some very lovely films just because they happen to star Keanu Reeves, Kevin Costner or Rob Schneider.

Hey LBB, wouldn't it be hilarious if it turned out I was actually Rob Schneider?

Get thee to a Blockbuster (or whatever the German equivalent is) Berlinbound. Rent 50 First Dates and The Hot Chick. If you don't like them, you have no soul--in my opinion.

He never claimed to be Rob Schneider, TSP--that's the whole point. That night he was just a man, compelled by humanity and duty to pull ladies from a burning building. Magnificent really.

I've taken to wearing a disguise when I go out in public Old Hoss--that night was no different.

I'm very proud to hear it Faceless Henchwoman, being a hero to women is actually one of my primary goals.

Mr. Schneider's humor is universal Rob--is a kick in the groin as funny across the pond as it is here? There you go.

Very nicely done Peter. That's the sort of thing I would say. (You're gonna need a bigger boat.)

The final irony, Amandarama, is that I actually admire Rob Schneider a great deal--no joke.


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