Tuesday, June 13, 2006

True Western Truth #111

In the Squinty-Eyed American West, Pa was always right and wasn't to be questioned; especially when it came to how to best deal with fatal threats such as rockslides, rabies, renegades and rattlesnakes. Of course, every once in a while the fatal threat turned out to actually be Pa, out of his mind again--booze addled mania and blood lust delirium. In which case he was to be questioned, and shouldn't be permitted to take a knife to sweet Sally Ann.

(By the way, I so copyright the title, "Renegades and Rattlesnakes". I'm very sorry alt-country rockers, but you're just going to have to come up with something else to name your debut albums, memoirs or North American tours.)


At 4:21 AM, Blogger Helga von porno said...

Same said of Ship captains, policemen and heads of state. Many an unquestioningly loyal crew have been sucked into a vortex following some crazy dream of a delerious captain. And policemen, under their sexy uniforms, are just as frail and vice ridden as the rest of us. World war two, the cultural revolution, the late soviet union, sometimes we all need to stand up for sweet Sally Ann and take the knife out of Pa's crzy grip.

At 1:04 PM, Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

Tell me, is Pa a squinty-eyed American buckknifer?

At 10:03 AM, Blogger Ari said...

I do hope you haven't made Rascal Flatts, Kenny Chesney, Billy Currington, Keith Urban, Faith Hill, or Gretchen Wilson sad with that wanton copyrightin' of brilliant album/memoir/tour titles.

The Drive-By Truckers are probably safe, though.

At 12:21 PM, Blogger Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Can I copyright "Pa?"

At 12:30 AM, Blogger Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

In the goose-pimpled old Wild Western Isles all our fatal threats also alliterate neatly too: the devil, the drink, the dormouse* and Death**.
*Great be-fang-ed dormice, we've got. Killers.
**Speaks for itself and hard to top as a fatal threat.

Maybe that Sally-Ann was a wrong'un from the start though. Maybe she did thoroughly deserved a good stabbing and Pa was the only one to see it. "Sometimes, the biggest, hairiest man quoth the most truth." - A quote from the official "Friends of Incarcerated Big Hairy Men Support Group (Meeting Wednesdays at the Lodge. Come join us for prayer, coffee and good times!)"

At 12:56 AM, Blogger Latigo Flint said...

Crazy dreams are all we have Helga Von Porno... we just can't act on them if they involve taking a knife to sweet Sally Ann.
That's what I've decided you're saying and I agree wholeheartedly.

Bowieknifer Old Hoss... something about the Buckers being sissies or some such.

I think so too Ari--as are Old Crow Medicine Show.

I think Laura Ingalls already did LBB. Better luck next time.

I believe in big hairy men too Sam, Problem Child. In this case, Pa was a wispy wraith of a man who wore ruffles and hummed as he killed.


Post a Comment

<< Home