Tuesday, July 18, 2006

True Western Truth #277

It was quite common, in the Squinty-eyed American West, for thunderheads to mass, dark and sullen on the skyline. It was customary for whoever saw them first to turn his neighbor and grimly note: "Storm's a comin'."
There were several standard responses to this observation, among them: "Yup." or "And a bad one at that." or "Best call the young'uns in." or even "Shucks in a haller, you're right."
"Oh goodie, I like the rain." However, was an absolutely unacceptable response--one for which you could be pistol-whipped and feel lucky it was nothing worse. Hardly anyone ever said, "Oh goodie, I like the rain", in the Squinty-eyed American West. The few who did were pistol-whipped and didn't say it again.


At 12:45 AM, Blogger Drew Habits said...

What about something along the lines of "the crops could use it"?

Would that be acceptable?

At 12:52 AM, Blogger Mom of Three said...

The ones that said "Oh goodie" were the cowboys from San Francisco.

At 1:01 AM, Blogger 12 Crumble Ave said...

What about those stubborn folks who, moments earlier, had stated "t'will be as dry a night as you'll ever see mark my words" and so on hearing the proclamation of the upcoming storm would simply say "no it isn't" and put their fingers in their ears humming loudly until they drowned?

I feel they too should be honoured with this post,

- Toby

P.S. T'will be be as dry a night as you'll ever see, mark my words

At 3:41 AM, Blogger Amandarama said...

There should be more good reasons to pistol whip someone. You don't see enough of those these days.

At 12:06 PM, Blogger Jamie Dawn said...

I would surely have been pistol whipped.

At 5:38 PM, Anonymous ellinor said...

And that is just one of the ways in which modern day Los Angeles should be more like the squinty-eyed old west. Where do those "oh goodie" people get off liking the rain, anyway?

At 9:44 PM, Blogger Latigo Flint said...

Very good catch Drew Habits! “I reckon the crops could use it.” Was absolutely an acceptable response… provided the speaker was holding a hoe at the time, and punctuated it with tobacco juice.

Nope Mom of Three, cowboys from San Francisco didn’t like the rain either--it tangled the lacy fringe on their chaps and made their hat brims droop and sag in a most un-fabulous of ways.

And honor them you have Good Sir Toby. (Or “honour” if you prefer.) You should know though, that people who made a habit of sticking their fingers in their ears and humming tended to be shot in the face.
(Unless the song they were humming was Camp Town Races… ‘cause, honestly now, not even a dirty renegade could shoot a man who was humming Camp Town Races, do-da, do-da--he'd be much too busy dancing.)

You’re right Amandarama, these days pistolwhipping tends to be pretty well frowned upon. Except in some parts of Wyoming, and only then if a man you don’t know, blows you a kiss and winks--then it’s considered self-defense.

Not with eyes as pretty as yours Jaime Dawn--not then, not now, now ever. Gals like you were allowed to say, “Oh goodie, I like the rain.”

Hello Ellinor. One of many. I don’t know where they get off--just a bit touched in the head I suppose and they don’t know that rain can cause cholera.


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