Burying The Sunshine

I put The Sunshine down, she was too weak to stand.

Aii-no!!! Did you have to?

I did Wife, I did. It was cruel to have waited this long.

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A script titled Burying The Sunshine is currently circulating through this tinsel town, and it's generating a deafening buzz.

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It will destroy Reyna when she learns.

Yes Wife, I think you are right. Where is Reyna by the way?

There she goes, probably to the back field to play.

Mierda! That is where The Sunshine's body lies, bloated and rank and attracting flies. Reyna!!! Come to the house a moment, I need to talk to you. Reyna, can you hear me? No Reyna, don't go in the field!!!

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Burying The Sunshine is the powerful and heartbreaking story of Reyna Quiñconez Octavio, the only daughter of a Chilean bean farmer. It tells of her savage quest to avenge the murder of her pet llama, The Sunshine.

Reyna's long and bloody trail takes her from high in the Andes to the slums of Santiago, where she soon discovers she must earn pesos horizontally if she is to avoid starvation. Within two years, Reyna Quiñconez Octavio has become a well-respected contract killer. (El Pequeño Asesino -- The Little Assassin.) She is twelve years old. By fourteen, she's the acting deputy overseeing a joint human slave trading operation for several local cartels. By fifteen, she's killing visiting diplomats just to win bar bets.

When new evidence opens an old wound, Reyna must return to her home village to face the last man she ever thought she'd have to kill... her father.



A bidding war has already begun for the script, and no one's even read it yet. They're calling it an Oscar Mine--The next foreign breakthrough hit. South America's Crouching Tiger, the Chilean Whale Rider.

A whole lot of people are going to be mighty grumpy if they ever find out the writer is actually my relatively trusty sidekick, Kid Relish. And that he isn't even remotely Chilean. And that he conducted all his "script research" in less than twenty minutes using the internet search engine, Altavista. (I know, right? Not even Google!)

Kid assures me no one will ever find out. "Come on Latty," he sneered. "The suits don't even watch 'em before they release 'em... not if they're subtitled. And do you really think the orgasming reviewers are going to double check with the Chilean Film Commission before writing their breathless reviews?"

Kid Relish flashed me his winning grin. "No one ever thinks to authenticate foreign films, Latty, because they can't fathom that anyone would ever want to counterfeit one. But no one's ever seen a devil cheeky as me."

Unless it's found to be the fraud it is, be sure to look for Burying The Sunshine (Enterrar La Sol) coming soon to critics choice lists and broke-down art houses everywhere.