Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Celine Dion is a Limpid Wombat

In an attempt to better understand a question recently posed in Latigo Flint's comment section, Latigo Flint performed a few Google searches:

Your search - "wombat Celine Dion" - did not match any documents.

Your search - "Celine Dion wombat" - did not match any documents.

Your search - "Celine Dion is a wombat" - did not match any documents.

Your search - "Celine Dion's wombats" - did not match any documents.

And then it hit Latigo Flint like a grumpy Apache: In all likelihood not one person in 6 billion has ever internet-published the sentence: "Celine Dion is a wombat." --- UNTIL NOW!!!!!!!

To say nothing of the adjectival possibilities, Celine Dion is a stupid wombat. Celine Dion is a smelly wombat. Celine Dion is a limpid wombat...

Latigo Flint had to sit down at this point. The implications were staggering, formidable even. So numerous and mighty were these implications that they actually served to completely obscure any result or answers that would have otherwise been inferred.... And darn it, implications aren't supposed to do that! That is not normal implication behavior.

Latigo Flint can think of no rational way to close the post at this point except with: (of course)

Celine Dion is a wombat; a stupid, smelly, limpid wombat.


At 12:28 AM, Blogger Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Yeah, and she was a lousy lover.

At 9:17 AM, Blogger darthmoridin said...

Maybe, but that wombat has some pipes. Serious pipes.

At 9:24 AM, Blogger Teaspoon said...

It was all pre-recorded lip-syncing man.

If Ashley Simpson lip-syncs, THEY ALL lip-sync.

At 10:34 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bâtard foutu! Comment le défi vous comparent Ashlee Simpson à Celine! Blasphemer!

At 12:23 PM, Blogger Teaspoon said...

wow, okay. I'm not fluent in French or anything but I am not completely sure if that is correct, or at least all in french.

but you're right I should not compare the talentless hack to her. That's not fair to Ms. Simpson

At 1:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Actually I found 883 pages containing Celine Dion and wombat through Google. Maybe you should try Joe Pantoliano and marmot next time. -Mog

At 1:29 PM, Blogger darthmoridin said...

Mog lives!

Actually, it's *cough* 882 *cough*.

At 1:30 PM, Blogger darthmoridin said...

And there's already 12 pages with Joey Pants and the Marmot.

At 1:37 PM, Blogger darthmoridin said...

And to be fair to the technically-challenged Latigo Flint, he was doing exact phrase searches, although in that context the first search was truly foolhardy.

At 7:13 AM, Blogger Myster said...

Did TSP seriously just compliment Ashlee Simpson... TWICE? No wonder you suck at Encore.

At 9:04 AM, Blogger Teaspoon said...

Actually the first one was a dis on Ashley, as well as a dis on most of the pop queens.

The second time I was trying to insult the French speaking ananoymous more then anything.

And as I recall I actually did fairly well at Encore. My team won at least as many as we lost so having a .500 record is not too bad.

At 5:32 PM, Blogger Latigo Flint said...

(By the way, comment # 4 wins Latigo Flint's coveted Best Comment Ever Award. Latigo Flint laughed out loud, and that is quite rare as gunslingers don't typically display much emotion. Who was that masked wo/man?)

At 1:54 AM, Blogger Wulfenjarl said...

Yeah, but what I really want to know is why on earth she'd marry someone so OLD?? WHAT is she thinking???

I never saw a better living-proof argument against letting little girls hang around old guys - even (especially) if you pay them 10%.

(The more I think about this, the worse it sounds!)



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