Wednesday, December 29, 2004

Those Darn Pregnant Wolves

So the leading theory is that a pregnant wolf snuck into the men's restroom at Latigo Flint's place of employment and proceeded to messily give birth to a litter of pups all over the only toilet.

The toilet overflows with a dark, brackish liquid. Something wide and gooey dangles from the lip to the floor and it does look like how one would imagine wolf placenta. The seat cover dispenser has been torn from the wall and streaks of what appear to be blood and urine coat the stall door. No one wants to inspect too closely but the six or seven massive brown blobs floating in the unflushable bowl seem to be covered with a fur-like substance and they do have vaguely lupine features.

The female employees don't agree with the wolf birth theory and they've refused us access to their restroom. They believe one of us has a severe intestinal issue and they fear it hasn't yet run its course. Latigo Flint doesn't really blame them too much for their decision but he knows it wasn't him - he did propose the perfectly logical plan of having them stand outside the stall to ensure his expedition was a sanitary one and they still cruelly turned him away.

There's a Marie Calendar's restaurant about a mile and a half down the road. Latigo Flint is leaving now to jog there and hopefully the abdominal cramps won't overwhelm him on the way.


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