Monday, December 27, 2004

Latigo Flint's New Year's Resolutions

First Draft:

1) Break the sound barrier with a quickdraw.
2) Perfect squinty eyes.
3) Convince Scarlett Johansson to remove the restraining order.
4) Don't let the May 14th unpleasant name calling incident outside the local high school deter self from incorporating chaps into daily wardrobe.
5) Lasso things more.
6) Stride away toward the setting sun as people stare in awe and say "I don't know who he was but damn, we'll never forget him or what he's done for this town."
7) Acquire a nemesis.
8) Crush nemesis.
9) Solve a centuries-old mystery.
10) Go out on a date with a girl.
11) Get my own car.
12) Pistol whip someone who deserves it.
13) Rescue a child from a runaway vehicle of some sort.
14) Stare into an ominous sky and say: "Storm's coming. Looks like a bad one too." Have frightened girls wail: "Please don't go out there tonight Latigo. We wouldn't be able to take it if anything happened to you." Look over my shoulder and softly reply: "I have to do this, you know that. If I don't, who will? Now don't cry, I'll see you again someday when this fighting is over." Walk away as they bury their face in their hands and weep.
15) Pay dad the money I owe him and get my own place.


At 12:42 PM, Blogger Latigo Flint said...

That was a private list and was not supposed to be published. I think Kid Relish figured out my password again. Please don't read that list.

At 1:45 PM, Blogger darthmoridin said...

At least you didn't have anything about wearing women's underwear on it...

That would be really embarrassing.

At 9:38 AM, Blogger Lightning Bug's Butt said...

How'd you do with these?


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