Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Don't Even Try

It is of course a well known fact that gunslingers will never, ever stare at a campfire since eyes, even if appropriately squinty, would quickly adjust to its brightness and we'd be momentarily blind should an adversary approach from the darkened forest beyond.

But don't even think about trying to take advantage of this fact by attempting to disguise yourself as a campfire - gunslingers are far too observant and crafty for that to ever work.

Popular legend would have us believe that this is the very trick Dashing Dave Pearson used in 1864 to kill Natches Murphy, the infamous Fresno pistoleer. It's said that Dashing Dave crouched underneath a straw lined chicken wire dome, set the contraption ablaze and over the course of several hours inched his way across a small meadow and two corals, coming to a stop practically at Natches Murphy's feet. At which point he proceed to leisurely gun Murphy down.

This however is a complete fabrication. Historians agree that in actuality Dashing Dave Pearson shot Natches Murphy in cold blood while Natches lay in bed, helpless and possibly dying after a drunken attempt to lasso an elk with a pair of suspenders had gone horribly wrong.


At 9:23 AM, Blogger Teaspoon said...

I knew that fire was getting closer to me the other night. Damn now for good measure I am just going to have to shoot my gun into every fire that I see just to make sure I am safe. I hate being paranoid.

At 11:51 AM, Blogger Lightning Bug's Butt said...

I appreciate the tip.


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