Your Loss (and I hope your lunch meat turns)

If you couldn't care less that a red-tailed hawk is circling majestically outside, an extremely rare sight this deep in Los Angeles, there are much more polite ways to convey your indifference.

(Note: This particular post is exclusively for the patrons of the Subway restaurant on the corner of Wilshire and Highland four hours ago.)

There is no need to openly mock the bearer of this news. Yes, he may have been a tad overexcited but not grossly out of proportion with what should be anyone's natural reaction to the splendor of such a sight - and certainly not enough to warrant ten straight minutes of derision.

And a special aside to Mr. Punchy McKneetothegroin, (I never got your name, but you know who you are.) Darn it, I wasn't sexually assaulting your girlfriend; I was simply trying to get her to follow me to the window, an ideal vantage point from which to observe the mighty raptor. Any urgency in my touch was certainly due only to the unknown and no doubt limited amount of time this great bird would remain in view.

Anyway, you twenty or so have proved yourselves to be exceptionally cruel and unfeeling people. Latigo Flint will definitely remember all your faces and the next time Latigo Flint sees something beautiful, unique and uplifting just beyond your sight line, he won't say a dern thing, and you all will be the poorer for it.