Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Savage Passion and Lobster Pots

Those salty old lobstermen of the North Atlantic are a jolly bunch. And they become doubly so when they happen to discover lines of empty lobster pots that really should be full. The lobstermen giggle late into the night, tossing back pints of ale and polishing their sledgehammers.

See, the great thing about catching someone in the act as they rob your lobster pot is that by law, you're allowed to bash them to death with a sledgehammer and dice up their body for bait.

It's kind of like frontier justice except it takes place on the frigid waters of the North Atlantic, and didn't vanish a hundred twenty years ago with the buffalo. It's a nautical loophole, this permitted bashing of lobster pot looters with sledgehammers, and maritime towns keep their traditions well.

Most people don't know that the John Denver song, Calypso, is actually about lobstermen bashing a pot looter to death with sledgehammers.

Aye, calypso, the places you've been to

This refers to all the lobster pots the thief has robbed.

The things that you've shown us

They can see dozens of illicit lobsters crawling around the bottom of his boat.

The stories you tell

Referring to the lies the lobster thief tells about how all the lobsters just happened to swim up and jump in his boat.

Aye, calypso, I sing to your spirit

The lobstermen have just bashed the pot looter to death with sledgehammers at this point.

The men who have served you so long and so well

This last line of the chorus is actually directed at the sledgehammers and represents the bond that forms between a lobsterman and his sledgehammer.

Oh de aye yay de day yo de dooo
Oh e oh do de de de de de dayyy

This doesn't really mean anything, it just sounds good. Songwriters are allowed to do that from time to time, you know?


By the way, I love a girl with a passion that could only be described as savage.

I think savage is a glorious word. It can be an adjective, a noun or a verb. (Don't cross a savage savage, he'll likely savage you.)

I made the mistake once of describing my feelings for her as such... "Savage". And I snarled a bit as I said it, which made her very uneasy for some reason. I decided I was the last sentry and stoically stuck to my post. The world up and went sane and I was left to stand alone.

Or was it the other way around? Either way, it was pretty goddamn awesome, all in all.


At 11:08 PM, Blogger Wulfenjarl said...

This explains why I never liked John Denver. He's so cryptic!!!! :)

I'm surprised the guys don't just turn the lobsters loose on 'im. Seems fitting.

At 9:10 AM, Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

And the rest of you thought John Denver was just a country boy.

(Does the Starbucks girl know about your savage savagery? I think you are in danger of getting an iced latte in your lap.)

At 9:24 AM, Blogger Monkeypotpie said...

If Calypso is really about Lobstermen and sledgehammers, what is Grandma's Feather Bed really about? These are things we need to know.

To love a woman savagely is a good thing. She should consider herself lucky and stop rolling her eyes at you.

At 9:42 AM, Blogger fourth_fret said...

oh my, i have learned much today in playing catch up. i am so glad someone finally explained a john denver song! i feel like the answer to "why are we here" has been giving.

for the lobster bashing, of course! :D

At 10:48 AM, Blogger Blog ho said...

too bad he wasn't the looting looter who was bashed...to death.

At 11:49 AM, Blogger darthmoridin said...

"Either way, it was pretty goddamn awesome, all in all."

I have never seen a sentence so eloquently, but unintentionally, describe its author so truly.

At 1:24 PM, Blogger Teaspoon said...

That is what I like about you LF your blog is as educational as it is obscure and disturbing. I good mix if you ask me.

At 4:38 PM, Blogger Amandarama said...

I keep a lobster pot just so I can bash a guy in the head with a sledgehammer. It gives me something to do on weekends.

At 10:01 PM, Anonymous Julie Strider said...

Is that kind of Love too contrived to be good? Either way, everyone adores a good lobster story.

At 11:13 PM, Blogger Latigo Flint said...

I distrust people who dislike John Denver songs Wulf. Other than that, thanks for commenting. (I'm probably grinning right now, but how can you be sure?)

Old Hoss, at this point I've ripped open so many dress shirts and bared my chest to the storm's fury so many times that I don't even remember where home is. This lonesome fate is a real bitch, but damn if it isn't good for a passel of giggles.

We do need to know these things Monkeypotpie, you're absolutely right. (She should, but strangely does not.)

I've yet to get through "Leaving on a Jet Plane" with dry eyes Fourth Fret. Foretelling your own death is awesome and super sexy also.

Probably Ho. Or maybe at the very least. I actually don't remember the question.

DMor, that is easily the finest thing anyone's said to me in a long time. Thank you.

Well shucks TSP, you're gonna make a gunslinger blush you keep that up.

I hear you Amandarama. On the weekends I sing along with Gordon Lightfoot songs and try to drink myself to death. We've all got our own little diversions I suppose.

Merciful fates!!! It's Julie Strider, the object of Raoul Clementine Higuera's desire. What are the goddamn odds?!

Julie Strider, the wise would probably agree it is simply much too contrived to be true. But that's why wise people aren't much fun at parties.

At 11:03 AM, Blogger Lightning Bug's Butt said...

"Savagery" is a Shakespearean word.

At 8:58 PM, Blogger Ari said...

John Denver... patron saint/bard of lobster robber bashers. Such mysteries you reveal.


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