Savage Passion and Lobster Pots

Those salty old lobstermen of the North Atlantic are a jolly bunch. And they become doubly so when they happen to discover lines of empty lobster pots that really should be full. The lobstermen giggle late into the night, tossing back pints of ale and polishing their sledgehammers.

See, the great thing about catching someone in the act as they rob your lobster pot is that by law, you're allowed to bash them to death with a sledgehammer and dice up their body for bait.

It's kind of like frontier justice except it takes place on the frigid waters of the North Atlantic, and didn't vanish a hundred twenty years ago with the buffalo. It's a nautical loophole, this permitted bashing of lobster pot looters with sledgehammers, and maritime towns keep their traditions well.

Most people don't know that the John Denver song, Calypso, is actually about lobstermen bashing a pot looter to death with sledgehammers.

Aye, calypso, the places you've been to

This refers to all the lobster pots the thief has robbed.

The things that you've shown us

They can see dozens of illicit lobsters crawling around the bottom of his boat.

The stories you tell

Referring to the lies the lobster thief tells about how all the lobsters just happened to swim up and jump in his boat.

Aye, calypso, I sing to your spirit

The lobstermen have just bashed the pot looter to death with sledgehammers at this point.

The men who have served you so long and so well

This last line of the chorus is actually directed at the sledgehammers and represents the bond that forms between a lobsterman and his sledgehammer.

Oh de aye yay de day yo de dooo
Oh e oh do de de de de de dayyy

This doesn't really mean anything, it just sounds good. Songwriters are allowed to do that from time to time, you know?

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By the way, I love a girl with a passion that could only be described as savage.

I think savage is a glorious word. It can be an adjective, a noun or a verb. (Don't cross a savage savage, he'll likely savage you.)

I made the mistake once of describing my feelings for her as such... "Savage". And I snarled a bit as I said it, which made her very uneasy for some reason. I decided I was the last sentry and stoically stuck to my post. The world up and went sane and I was left to stand alone.

Or was it the other way around? Either way, it was pretty goddamn awesome, all in all.