Sunday, November 27, 2005

Of Cowards and Corpses

Girls would prefer not to make love to cowards. Believe that--it's a steady truth. But, and here's the rub--girls refuse to make love to corpses. (Well okay, a few will, but they're sick in the head and not relevant to this discussion.)

So what can we learn from this? It's simple really--if you want a girl to make love to you, you must not be cowardly and you must not die.

Easy enough.

Yeah, easy enough, except for when the Wraith Fiends come with burning eyes and claws that might as well be swords. Then we have a big problem.

Oooh I hate those goddamn Wraith Fiends with their burning eyes and claws that might as well be swords... They suck! Talk about damned if you do, damned if you don't. You can run away like a simpering coward or stand brave and find out what color your intestines actually are.

Either way the girls aren't going to make love to you.

Goddamn Wraith Fiends!!!

Wraith Fiends piss me off.

11 Comments:

At 7:55 PM, Blogger Amandarama said...

Vorpal Blade, Latigo. Pain in the ass to find, but totally helpful in this instance.

On the other hand, so is chloform.

 
At 7:58 PM, Blogger Amandarama said...

Chloroform.

Yup.

Totally meant that.

 
At 10:31 PM, Blogger greta said...

Ralph Fiennes pisses me off too.

 
At 3:26 AM, Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

Live and learn. I thought it was the Samurai who did the seppuku on you, but, no, it is the Wraith Fiends. Are there a lot of them?

 
At 5:18 AM, Blogger Peter said...

Girls that insist on live heros piss me off Latigo.

 
At 7:50 AM, Anonymous Westacular said...

But ... but ... but you're the grin in the dark!

 
At 10:12 AM, Blogger Teaspoon said...

Got into the Eggnog (rum) a little much over the holiday LF?

 
At 10:32 AM, Blogger Dave Morris said...

I am going to refuse to put up my christmas wraiths in protest.

 
At 1:31 PM, Blogger Lightning Bug's Butt said...

I think you've stumbled on one of those... you're well-read, Latigo, what do you call them?

You know, like, for example, "To have peace, you must prepare for war."

What do they call those? Anyway, this post is one of them.

 
At 2:10 PM, Anonymous Westacular said...

LBB: is "koan" the term you were thinking of?

...

"To make love to a woman, one must stay the fuck away from Wraith Fiends"

 
At 12:13 AM, Blogger Latigo Flint said...

Snicker-snack Amandarama, snicker-snack indeed.

(And we'll chalk type-os up to booze and find like company well met.)

You get an "F" in reading comprehension Greta, but an "A" in just about everything else, and that'll do every time.

Oh yes Old Hoss, there are a great many Wraith Fiends. I'd tell you more but they pursue me even now.

I know Peter, it's like--what do they want from us?!

Hmm, that's true Westacular, I am the Grin in the Dark, aren't I? Yes I am. Well in that case... wait, what was the question?

I don't like eggnog TSP, even if heavily laced with rum. Now I did have just about a billion Coors Long necks over the long weekend--but I don't see how that's relevant to the discussion at hand... a discussion about which I no longer seem to recall the topic. (Of course.)

That is a very moving gesture Dave and I appreciate it very much.

LBB, I believe "Koan" is the term you were thinking of. It's very Zen, not many people know it. Of course I do naturally.

Oh, hello Westacular, howz it going?

(By the way, in this context, "To make love to a woman, one must stay the fuck away from Wraith Fiends" actually happens to be one of the quickest, cleverest koans I've ever seen. I salute you sir.)

 

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