Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Conversation Tracking

Conversation tracking, the exercise in which a lengthy conversation is carefully examined in reverse by all participants in an effort to discover its genesis has never much appealed to Latigo Flint. The conversation was probably a giant waste of time the first time down. Retrace yourselves if you like, Latigo Flint would rather count stucco bumps.

However, exiting the local 7/11 this morning, Latigo Flint was intrigued by the possibility that in the case of Mumbly Bill, the ever-present bum who spends his days talking to himself and drooling into a crusty collection cup, the practice might actually yield beneficial results. At the trail head of this monoversation might wait a slightly less insane Mumbly Bill.

It was worth a try. So Latigo Flint walked backward out of the 7/11 and with a grunt, Bill was off. The previous night and day rolled back out of him - random topics, observations, unique syllable groupings - it was a sight to behold.

Latigo Flint is a little embarrassed though to disclose what happened next - it turns out the origin of this particular solo conversation proved be almost exactly 24 hours earlier when Mumbly Bill had been jolted awake by Latigo Flint's briskly striding boot heal mashing his fingers into the concrete. (I thought it was a rag, plus I was in a terrible rush.) When he realized who I was, Mumbly Bill began throwing garbage and shrieking to any and all who would listen that I was "That demonic dog-dog from Nacker Tacker Tacker Fucklashit who does stampy stampy stampys!!!"

Good thing no one ever listens to Mumbly Bill.


At 9:44 AM, Blogger darthmoridin said...

Maybe Latigo should put Mumbly Bill down. When you start drooling into your collection cup, you're done.

At 4:10 PM, Blogger Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Not for nothing, but Mumbly Bill might not mumble so much if you purchased a 40 oz. bottle of 211 in the 7/11 and brought it across his head with great force. Then, drink it.

At 4:30 PM, Blogger Noir Muse said...

Are you sure Bill was referring to you, Mr. Latigo? Sometimes it’s hard to tell with those suffering from Tourette’s. I once shared a bus seat with a guy who rocked back and fourth and sung out in a high-pitched whinny: “I’ve got a new pair of shoes! I’ve got a new pair of shoes!”

I mean really, what’s that supposed to mean?

At 5:41 PM, Blogger Latigo Flint said...

Thank you gentlemen but Latigo Flint is trying not to make a habit of murdering hobos.

Carrie, I'd have to say it means he's got a new pair of shoes... and this fact rather excites him. Did you share the seat with him very long? (This isn't how you met your fiancé is it?)

At 8:15 AM, Blogger Noir Muse said...

Nope, I’m a weird-o magnet. I met the Fiancé while I was working as a copy jockey at Kinko’s on the notorious third shift. (When the weird-os come in for their copies...)


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