Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Good to Know

It turns out that most girls don't respond well at all to hearing: "You've just cracked the top five in my Ass I'd Like to Tap journal."

Latigo Flint wouldn't mind so much except that he spent a sizable sum of money on the typesetting, graphic design and color printing of 1,000 actual Ass I'd Like to Tap journals on hard cover bound glossy stock. The fifth page, blank of course, is a high quality linen/cotton weave upon which would go their name, phone number, a brief bio and a rough portrait. A pocket on the inside of the front cover holds a felt tip calligraphy pen and several flat sketching pencils.

In retrospect this does seem like a positively creepy level of preparation for a come on line but at the time Kid Relish assured Latigo Flint that girls, being tactile and visual creatures, respond enthusiastically to lines that effectively incorporate props and calligraphy.

Latigo Flint is beginning to realize that Kid Relish occasionally tells malicious lies for no reason beyond personal entertainment.


At 10:55 PM, Blogger Wulfenjarl said...

Latigo, I think Kid Relish is on drugs.

(No, really. I'm serious.)

At 1:36 AM, Blogger Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Who's Kid Relish?

At 7:49 AM, Blogger Noir Muse said...

If someone approached me with an "Ass I'd Like To Tap" journal - I might be intrigued (or at least amused). But then, I am a particularly tactile and visual creature. Remember - it's all fun and games until she finds out you have 1,000 of those journals in your apartment.

At 9:55 AM, Blogger darthmoridin said...

Kid Relish is Doc Holiday to Latigo's Wyatt Earp, but without Val Kilmer's mustache from hell.

At 3:04 PM, Blogger Victoria said...

Laughed out loud, I did..
Flint, you should definitely stand behind this. See what develops. You may get a rare look into what women really think..

At 7:10 PM, Blogger Latigo Flint said...

Or until she finds out she's the sixth girl at the bar to have received one - that's no fun either.

But the difference Dar, is that Doc had Wyatt's back... Kid seems to relish sliding shivs into mine. (And he can't shoot worth a dern... comparatively.) You may be onto something Wulf.

Thanks for the encouragement Vic but sometimes Latigo Flint isn't sure he really wants to know... Insanity may lurk down that path - just look at Mel Gibson.


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