Sunday, February 20, 2005

Sam Elliott's Beer

(Latigo Flint has been extremely busy on top-secret gunslinger business - which may or may not involve intense physical rehabilitation and asking strangers to help him wipe his ass... depending on how truthful you believe these posts to be.

In the meantime here's one from the archives - November 9, 2004.)

Sam Elliott's Beer

So it turns out you should never, ever, under any circumstance, take the last beer in Sam Elliott's fridge. No one has ever received a beating the likes of which Latigo Flint received last night at the hands of Sam Elliott.

You see, Latigo Flint stopped by Sam's house to pitch his movie idea of a time traveling gunslinger. Sam was out running a couple of errands so Latigo Flint told the Guatemalan housekeeper a few white lies about being Sam's favorite nephew and such, and settled into the kitchen to wait.

Then Latigo Flint got a little thirsty. You'd think a big movie star like Sam Elliott would have multiple fridges and plenty of beer, especially if he's that passionate about it.

The beating Sam Elliott administered upon returning and discovering his last beer in Latigo Flint's hand was unemotional, methodical and without a shred of mercy. It was probably awesome to behold. Probably the sort of beating Latigo Flint would have loved to watch had it not been happening to him.

On the scale of actors whose last beer you should never take, if Anthony Michael Hall is a 1 and Russell Crowe is a 10 - without a doubt, Sam Elliott is a 14, maybe even a 15.


At 12:01 PM, Blogger Lightning Bug's Butt said...

If I could take a last beer from a celebrity, it would be Patrick Swayze. That fucker would probably still have his plane had I the chance to do that so many years ago.

At 5:38 PM, Blogger darthmoridin said...


You must be doped up on the same meds Latigo's on right now. Latigo doesn't need archives. That would be like a map of a very long tunnel with just two exits. This post is just waaaay down near the bottom of the page, because Latigo is building an homage to the Tuesday Morning Quarterback.

At 7:03 PM, Blogger Blog ho said...

I'm starting to worry about Latigo, he sure gets beat up a lot. I wonder if the quickdraw practice is a bit misplaced...maybe some tai kwon jackie chan in that western w/ owen wilson.


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