No flu vaccination... No problem

Having trouble getting a flu vaccination this fall? No problem, just do what Latigo Flint did - go down to your local assisted living senior citizen housing center and strike up a conversation with the first really old person you see.

It's too easy, just start talking about "Mary" and "the kids". Most likely the senior will know someone named Mary, and even if they don't, they'll figure the mistake is theirs and they'll be so ashamed at forgetting another loved one that they'll pretend to know who this "Mary" is.

Once the senior is chatting comfortably with you, cut a medium sized incision in their arm and drink about a pint of their blood - they've certainly had their flu shots recently, probably twice since the housing facility hates loosing all that rent money every winter, and a healthy young guy or gal like you will get ample vaccine from that pint of blood.

(Hey don't blame me... This wouldn't be necessary if it wasn't for the severe shortage caused by Bush, Cheney and all the Halliburton executives taking daily baths in giant vats of 100 proof flu vaccine... everybody knows that.)